Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 11 February 1900
People are the strangest thing of all. A caricature – chinless, short, with bulging eyes and overly crazy conducting. It always looks weird with the composer is the one conducting, because he always wants too much from the orchestra, for it to be superb.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 26 February 1900
Evening at Spitzer's. I went there with the strongest prejudice. Nearly the entire evening with Alexander von Zemlinsky, the 28-year-old composer of ES WAR EINMAL ... He's dreafully ugly, has almost no chin – yet I liked him exceptionally. At the table he asked me quite calmly: how do you feel about Wagner? Well, I said, he was the greatest genius of all time. And what's your favourite piece by Wagner? TRISTAN – my response. This made him so happy that he was no longer recognisable. He became truly handsome. Now we understood each other. I really like him – a lot. I will bring him to our home.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 10 March 1900
Zemlinsky told me that he really likes my song, that I have an outstanding talent – and other things. I told him that he and Khnopff were the two biggest attractions to me. He didn't believe me. Miss, were I not so prudent – you could turn somebody's head for the pleasure of it! And suddenly he got serious: Miss, I would like to dedicate a song to you – no – I want to do much more – and out comes a book of songs. May I dedicate them to you? I was overcome with joy.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 23 April 1900
I played him some recent songs, and he saw lots of talent but little ability. During a tone shift he said: that's so good that I almost could have done it myself. He showed me a few minor errors, which was very nice and funny. He asked me to give him three songs. I'm transcribing them and sending them to him.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 29 June 1900
Because we had the car, we drove to the Prater and from there to the Obere Weißgerbergasse to drop my notes off by Zemlinsky. I knock, Guttmann lets me in. I ask after his father, and she lets me into his music room and tells me that he died early this morning. I was embarrassed to leave my humorous letter and my notes there. But she placed them in his desk and said she will give them to him after he has calmed down. And there they are, and she pointed at my photograph standing in the middle of the desk. Ms Guttmann paid me the utmost respect, always with tears in her eyes and her mouth twitching. He fought through the night, she said, and kept watch next to his bed. She was wearing a large kitchen apron, and appears to be in charge of the home.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 18 October 1900
Zemlinsky is to come today ... And he did. Half an hour later than planned, but still. His appearance at our home caused a wild upset. I don't think he's strange – nor ugly, as intelligence radiates from his eyes – and such a person is never ugly.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 13 November 1900
He: Well, what shall I teach you? I: Theory of form. He: So show me something. I played my latest piano piece. There are positives to it – made with talent, but without deftness or technique. Then he tested me on some harmony theory, looked at my latest counterpoints, and we both saw that I am capable of little, if not nothing. Then we talked about everything under the sun, and he was with me for a full two hours. I'm feeling elated.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 7 January 1901
I asked him to play ... the prelude from ES WAR EINMAL. He did not. I got carried away and said that I wasn't in TRISTAN because he wasn't. He said to me: Do you know, Miss, you have been insipid lately. If you can persuade all of your men to do something, you can do the same to me – but not ... And he is right. What do I want from him? Yes, I like him, an incredible amount ... But how he arrived – his unbelievable ugliness, his odour. And on top of that, I am strangely agitated in his presence.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 8 March 1901
Miss Guttmann was there, along with the entire family. I don't know them, but they were constantly staring at me with the opera audience – the nerve. Zemlinsky stayed in the artists' room, not greeting me. Spitzer said: Zemlinsky was here, saw them and then left. That hurt me! And now, by writing it down, I am more than indifference. I have this feeling: Jewish coward! Keep your hook-nosed Jew girl. She suits you.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 10 April 1901
We had our usual lesson. Afterward we sat down. He said that I'm playing with him and that he is grateful to God for making him so prudent. Suddenly our eyes met and did not waver. I asked him to come Saturday evening. He asked if it was important to me. I said yes. He kissed my hands, laid his head on them. I leaned away. We kissed on the cheek. Always, always we acted like this. I took his head in my hands and we kissed until our teeth hurt. He said that he had been fighting against his love for me all winter.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 24 September 1901
I just witnessed two flies mating. They were so still and stalwart. One of their wings twitched every now and then. I blew at them, and they listlessly flew a short distance away, attached to each other, and continued in their doings not much further away. I envied them. I was touched. Why should that be unaesthetic? The overflow from one into the other – I think it's beautiful, very beautiful. How I long for it. Alex – my Alex. Let me be your basin of consecration. Flow over into me.

Letter from Alexander von Zemlinsky to Alma Schindler, 4 November 1901
Your inconsiderately intimate endearments during the last times we were alone largely stemmed from the longing to experience it. I have that feeling! How intimate and grand, what you write: "I want to be the mother of your children" – if I felt it was sincere! But it's not! I know: all of your intentions, your boundless vanity, hedonism, all of that is preventing you from being happy with me! I am constantly wondering whether I will even make it out of this week. Maybe it's best if you stop seeing me.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 12 December 1901
You know how much I have loved you. You have fulfilled me. This love has gone as quickly as it arrived – it was suppressed. It has overcome me with renewed vigour! I would like to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness for the terrible times I caused you. There are things beyond the scope of our control.

Diary entry from Alma Schindler, 16 December 1901
He came into the room – paler than usual, and silent. I walked to him, pulled his head to my breast and kissed his hair. I felt strangely brave. We sat seriously, only talking about relevant matters – next to each other – we, who had wounded ourselves in the most pleasant whirlwind of romance. He was somewhat sarcastic, as always, but otherwise kind – touchingly kind. My eyes were filled with tears the entire time. But my senses were silent ... A beautiful, beautiful love was buried today. Gustav, you have much to do in order to replace it.

Letter from Alexander von Zemlinsky to Arnold Schönberg, 18 December 1901
The latest news: Mahler engaged to Alma Schindler – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –