The place I feel most contented and at home is the Juilliard School in Manhattan, the famous school of music, drama and dance close to Broadway and Central Park. Just opposite is David Geffen Hall, home to the New York Philharmonic, and just behind on the left is the cube of the Metropolitan Opera. I grew up in a musical family. My dad conducted the Winnipeg Youth Orchestra and my uncle co-founded the Emerson String Quartet while he was still at the Juilliard. As a little girl I already wanted to be like him. For me, everything cultural revolved around the Juilliard and I always knew I wanted to study there eventually. And the dream came true when I was 18. I was prepared for some hard knocks, but it turned out exactly as I’d imagined.

I spent nine years there, first as flautist, then as conductor. They were the most formative years of my life. Juilliard is a place that provides everything - the top instructors, best resources, an inspiring community of fellow students - but you still have to take the initiative and make the place your own. It’s an energised atmosphere but a very competitive environment, especially for flautists. Everyone wants to shine and be better than the rest, and the bar is set pretty high. I remember the annual competitions held to determine the solo musicians for the Juilliard orchestra. When I won the competition with Jolivet’s Concerto for Flute it was a key moment for me. The conductor of that decisive concerto was Otto Werner Mueller, who was soon to be my teacher and mentor.

During my final two years of my course I focused less and less on my instrument and spent more time sitting in on conducting classes and studying operas by Verdi and Wagner. At some point I realised that my time at the Juilliard was not yet up. I began studying conducting under Otto Werner Mueller. Mueller’s teaching style was old school; he was famous, or notorious, for his strict methods. We labelled him typically German: methodical, demanding, sometimes merciless. But he was also brilliant and his discipline and high standards were very important in my development.

When I think back to my time with Mueller, it conjures up memories of Room 309 – actually nothing more than an austere practice room with wooden floor boards and acoustic panels, but for me it was a magical place. Whenever I go back there and breathe in the smell, I’m whisked back to when it all began for me: here playing flute under Leonard Bernstein, there holding a baton in my hand in front of an orchestra and shaping a sound with my hands. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime sensation.

The conductor in a rehearsal room at Juilliard. The art school has produced many stars, including Robin Williams, Philip Glass and Pina Bausch © Noah David Smith

 

The next turning point in my career was my meeting with Claudio Abbado. In my first year on the conducting program I got a grant to spend a summer in Europe. At one point Abbado was conducting the Wiener Philharmoniker at Carnegie Hall and I went backstage and asked »Maestro, could I maybe sit in on your rehearsals in the summer?« And he just went »Yes«. And that very year I saw Claudio Abbado’s first rehearsal with the Berlin Philharmonic and went on to become his assistant at the Salzburg Festival. The collaboration opened doors for me that I’d never have dared to dream about.

Today, years later, I’m facing another challenge in the form of Richard Strauss’s SALOME at the Deutsche Oper Berlin. For me, SALOME is more than an opera; it’s a symphonic poem in which the orchestra is the principal voice. With Strauss, every note paints an emotional picture. The music is so rich and dense and intense, a controlled type of chaos. A conductor has to find order and balance, a little like a traffic cop on point duty at a busy crossroads. At the same time Strauss’s music is complex and dramatic in a way that’s hugely appealing to me. This opera is me all over: passionate, energetic, bursting with life.

Even though I’m at home in a whole bunch of musical worlds, the Juilliard School remains the place that most speaks to my soul. It has inspired and shaped me, encouraged me to discover my passion. Room 309, the old wooden corridors, the fragrance of history – it’s all deeply rooted in my heart.